I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
