I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize