no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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