I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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