happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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