He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
