babies were throwing up all over the place
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
