i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
