Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
