are you still at the devil's house?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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