Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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