i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
