I heard we made out
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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