She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
