I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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