So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
