Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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