That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
