Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
