I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
