Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Pants are for mortals
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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