would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize