I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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