Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
