I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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