Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
