Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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