you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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