I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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