We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
