if you like me you must not know who I am
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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