I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
