You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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