He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize