you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize