This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
