You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
