hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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