dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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