omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
