Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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