How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
