I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
