So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
