oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
