I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
