I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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