once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
