Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
