Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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