in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
