If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
