Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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