I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize