clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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