Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
