i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
