My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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