I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
