butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize