she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
