I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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