Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
