I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize