the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
