you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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