problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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