Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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