I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
