You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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