I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize