I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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