the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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