I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ttyl tear gas
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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