You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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