Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
