JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
